The robe still smelled like him. If she closed her eyes and took a deep breath she could imagine that he was standing there with her. The subtle mixture of honey and spice that would have seemed too much for anyone else radiated around her as she ran her hand over the soft fabric.
Slowly, she opened her eyes to look back to her reflection. Her eyes instantly found the deep scar that crossed her cheek. Soon after her fingertips followed the path of her eyes as if she didn't want to believe that her eyes were seeing the truth. That this woman standing in her reflection wasn't truly her. As soon as they had their fill of her obvious flaw they found their way to the stark black markings that covered her bare leg as she stood in front of the long mirror dressed only in his robe.
She could feel the tension in her chest beginning to build as the mixture of his scent along with the disgust she saw in herself culminated. An unfamiliar sting burned her eyes as tears began to form, making her hazel eyes glisten in the firelight. Squeezing her fingers into fists, she clenched her eyes closed as she felt her tears threatening to fall.
She was about to turn, unable to bear the sight of herself, when she felt him. His strong arms wrapping around her waist as his full lips found her neck. She waited until she felt his arms squeeze around her to dare to look up. She knew what would happen the moment she looked up into his honey eyes.
With a deep breath she opened her eyes, looking into the mirror she saw him looking back to her. For a moment, unmoving, his eyes held her gaze. Not once looking away as his nimble fingers found the knot holding his robe around her. Easily the plush fabric gave way to his deft fingers, easily pulling the knot free allowing the soft fabric to slide open on its own.
His gentle lips kissed and nipped their way up her neck as his fingertips found the soft skin of her stomach. His lips paused to suckle on the sensitive skin just below her ear easily distracting her from the way his fingertips glided over her skin as they followed the trim of the robe. He waited until he felt her melt into his chest to pull the robe over her shoulders.
He didn't have to look to know that she watched the way that he looked at her. Licking his lips he spread his fingers over her stomach as he pulled her closer to him. Gently biting down on the base of her neck as his hands explored her skin. His fingertips curling so that his nails gently scratched against her skin stopping just short of the curve of her breasts. He could feel the way her muscles quivered under his touch, the way her breath hitched and how her back pressed into his chest.
His fingers slid over her skin as she turned to face him as his eyes became lost in hers. He couldn't help but lose himself in the golden suns that faded into a green that rivaled the forest. He couldn't resist the smile that crept onto the corners of his lips as he pulled himself to her, eagerly pressing his lips against hers. Even in this, the sight of her vulnerability drew him in. Drowning him in desire as he knew that this was a side of her that no one had ever seen.
His tongue found her lips, brushing languidly against them in hopes of discovering hers. As his tongue made it's journey across her lips, he was rewarded. Opening, her tongue met his as they began their dance, deepening the kiss. The moment he felt her hesitant fingers grip the sides of his shirt he gently took her bottom lip between his teeth. He almost grinned as he heard her gasp for breath.
His hand found its way around her neck, becoming lost in the auburn waves as he cradled her neck as he began kissing down her neck. He could feel the way her hands began to gather the fabric of his lose shirt and innocently raised his arms, allowing her to pull the shirt off his back.
For a moment he stood proud. His shoulders held back, and his head held high as he watched her drink him in. The tips of her fingers slid over his shoulders and down his chest as her eyes took in his tanned skin. Her touch was gentle, if he hadn't seen her touch him he probably wouldn't even have known. The shear thought of her hands on him like this made him want her even more. He craved to feel her against his skin, to be inside her, to surround her. Anything if it meant she would keep her defenses down and just let him be with her.
When her fingers splayed across his stomach, she took a nervous step forward, pressing her lips to his for a slow kiss. His lips were velvet against hers, always had just the perfect amount of pressure, and his tongue always had her wanting more. His hands found her hips as he pulled her into his chest before wrapping his arms around her. One arm along the small of her back as the other travelled up her spine, relishing ever muscle that shook beneath his touch. Slowly, he took a few careful steps backward, guiding her along with him as he felt the bed press against the back of his knees.
When they finally parted she couldn't stop the whimper that escaped her lips as his pulled away. Her body ached for him as his warm arms left her sides as he sat down on the side of the bed, his eyes shined in the firelight. Covered with the signs of desire and something she didn't quite know how to describe. She watched as he raised his hand up for her. Making it her choice if she wished to pursue this.
She knew there was nothing else in her life that she wanted more than being in his eyes, in his arms. She had never felt anything like this before, and long since given up on it. Believing that this was a part of life that she was never meant to have, that it was all for the better. But his eyes… they didn't stop on her scars, didn't glare at her faults.
"Sto nudus ante vos nunc. Muros non ut abscondaris post tergum… Ita hic sum ego vides omnibus e meis cicatrices," she said with a shrug, unable to bare her soul to him. Though she doubted she would ever be able to, but in these words. Ones she knew he wouldn't understand she could confess to him. To tell him the worries that burden her heart that keeps her so distant.
"Quae adhuc hic tu es. Ego et anima mea non metuit tuli," she whispered softly as she placed her hand in his allowing him to pull her closer.
Carefully she brought her knee up, placing her weight on the bed as she straddled his hips as she pressed her lips back to his. She felt the weight of his hands on her hip and back as he pulled her closer to him and her body melted into his touch.
As she pulled back she felt the way his chest wavered, the same was as hers as they gasped for breath. Slowly, her hands trailed over his warm body as they found their way to his neck, becoming lost in his golden locks as she leaned her forehead against his, closing her eyes.
"Pulchra sum apud vos… …Me tenet in parte," she whispered, hoping that he wouldn't notice the tremors that he sent through her. She knew he couldn't understand her, though deep down she wished that he could. She wished she would be able to tell him this.
Slowly he opened his eyes, to see hers remained closed as she clung to him. Deep down in his chest he could feel the pang of hurt as she listened to him. Knowing that she was telling him the things her heart could no longer bare to keep secret, but she was still unable to just tell him. It hurt knowing that she couldn't open up to him in the way he desired, but h knew this was a step in the right direction. The fact that she would confess anything to him like this meant she was trying. That she too wanted this with him. Desperately he pleaded for his mind to remember her words. He wanted them etched into his memory until she found a way to tell him what she meant to say.
When he saw her eyes open, he could see the need and desire in her eyes and he couldn't hold himself back any longer. His warm hands cradled her face as he pulled her to him for a needy kiss. Their lips crushed against one another as their tongues danced. His arms found their places around the small of her back and under her hip as he lifted her.
Easily he held her as he turned, placing her on the bed gently. His eyes dancing over her. The way she drew her legs together shyly, showing of the curve of her hips. Her breasts heaved as she struggled to keep her composure. He smiled as his eyes found her kiss swollen lips and the blush that pinched her cheeks and the tips of her ears.
He knew fully well that she knew how to play this game… but what melted his heart was that he knew she wasn't playing. Her words, her blush… it was real. There was no hiding it from him. He couldn't help the way he bit his bottom lip in anticipation as he easily lost the remainder of his clothing before climbing on top of her.
His lips found hers, eagerly pressing his tongue into her mouth to explore as he nudged her legs apart with his knee. Drawing her to him as he pressed and pulled leaving them both panting as he pulled away to spread his attentions down her neck as his hands roamed over her sides.
"Vos hic estis mecum," she whispered as he suckled on the sensitive skin below her ear. Whimpering as he pulled away, her eyes found his. She could feel him as he pressed against her. His eyes searching hers as if for permission, but he never would know how desperate she was for him.
"Duis sentire existimantur et sic facies eam," she whispered shakily as she looked into his eyes.
The moment the words left her lips, he was covering them stealing the moan as it escaped as he plunged into her. One hand cradling her cheek as the other wove his strong fingers in between hers. He remained still for her to get used to him. Distracting her with the way his tongue danced with hers.
It was overwhelming, the sensations of how she fit so perfectly to him. The sounds of her coming undone beneath him, the way she felt, the love he saw in her eyes. Everything made it hard for him to keep himself. Every breath she gasped for. The way her nails scratched into his shoulders as she neared her peak threatened to send him over the edge.
"Credo sum ego vos pulchrum," she gasped out before she threw her head back, covering the pillow underneath her with auburn waves as she pressed her shoulders into the mattress as her breasts pressed into his hot chest. The contact alone was enough to send her over the edge. Legs trembling as they hugged his hips. Her wanton cries silenced as she struggled to breath.
She didn't notice the weight of his hand as he held her face, watching as she trembled. Mouth left agape as she rode out the tremors of her release. It was all to much. Leaning down he wrapped his arms around her as he thrust inside her. His own breaths coming in ragged gasps as he felt her wrap her arms around him pulling him closer to her. When he heard her whisper his name he came undone. Spilling himself inside her.
He couldn't escape the memory. If not fighting, or doing business with Hawke or the others they invaded his thoughts. Images of her eyes haunted his mind. He had to know what she said. What if he had misinterpreted her words? What if he forced himself on her, and her past experiences allowed her to be so docile. The questions were burdening him to the point he was a risk to those around him.
"Please, my friend," Zevran pleaded. I'm begging.. I can't believe I am begging he thought shaking his head as he realized his heart knew that for her this was the least he would do.
"She spoke the words in our tongue. It's obvious she didn't want you to know," Fenris said as he turned away from Zevran.
"Perhaps it was reflex.. she had spent much time in Tevinter… it had been a long time since her time in Antiva," Zevran suggested, hoping that maybe he would gain some ground with his lame excuse.
"No.. she would not have mistaken that," Fenris snapped crossing his arms.
"Please… I… I'm afraid maybe I mistook what she had said… and I cannot bare the thoughts of wronging her," Zevran pleaded. "Fenris, I am a selfish man. I am not a man who begs… but for her…" Zevran added as he looked up to the slightly taller elf.
"What did she say?" Fenris asked over his shoulder as he slowly turned to the elf as he leaned against the mantle.
"Ah… in the beginning she said something… what was it?" Zevran grumbled to himself as he pinched the bridge of his nose wishing he committed her first words to memory as he did the others. "Something that sounded like, 'Sto nudus ante vos nunc. Muros non ut abscondaris post tergum… Ita hic sum ego vides omnibus e meis cicatrices.' Does that make any sense?" Zevran asked as he watched Fenris try to sort through his mockery of the Tevinter language. "'Quae adhuc hic tu es. Ego et anima mea non metuit tuli,' she said that as well," Zevran added quickly as the words came back to him.
"What were you two doing?" Fenris asked as a shy blush appeared on his cheeks.
"At that point… I was just kissing her and relieving her of her clothing," Zevran said with a shy grin. "What did she say? Fenris please I must know,"
"Don't you think she would have told you in words you would know if she intended for you to understand her," Fenris started again turning away, unable to look at Zevran as the image of what they were doing began running through his mind.
"…Please?" Zevran asked, for once at a loss for words as he was desperate to find out what she had said.
Her words echoed in Fenris' head. I stand naked before you now. No walls to hide behind… So here I am, you see all of my scars it was too intimate. She would have told him if she truly wanted him to know he thought, staring intently into the flames as to avoid the elf beside him. Still here you are. I bare my soul and I'm not afraid. Somehow Fenris' mind couldn't accept the idea of her putting such faith in the former assassin. But she is an assassin as well he thought, reminding himself of her unspoken past.
"Well?" Zevran asked curiously as he eagerly watched Fenris.
"No," he said as he sternly shook his head. "She will tell you when she is able," Fenris finished.
"But what if I wronged her? How am I to-" Zevran started hesitantly.
"She has had to be so strong… for so long, she's probably afraid to believe what being with you means," Fenris said with a smile as he thought of the same words she had said to him once as she watched him flounder in his feelings. "I assure you… You did nothing she did not invite," Fenris finally admitted as he saw the worry that weighted Zevran's features.
Zevran couldn't find a thing to say in response. He knew that she kept her secrets. Not willing to burden him with her troubles. That instead she chose to bury them in some dark corner of her mind and heart hoping to forget them. It was a tactic he had used far too many times. He knew he should leave it alone now that he knew he didn't just hear the things he wanted. But he couldn't help himself.
"Please… if not that" Zevran stuttered, hating himself for his lack of composure. But his mind wouldn't be satisfied only knowing such meager details. Maker's balls what did she say he thought as he struggled through the memory. Trying to focus on the words that wanted to elude him.
"Please Fenris," he begged as he caught Fenris' arm, hoping that the elf would take some pitty on him.
"I can't remember the beginning… Braska!" he shouted in frustration. "It went something lik '... apud vos… …Me tenet in parte'," he finished as he looked up to Fenris, hoping that Fenris would answer him honestly. He could feel his heart slow as he held his breath waiting for Fenris' response.
"Without the beginning I cannot be sure… but she said, 'with you… …Even in the darkest part of me" Fenris said calmly trying to keep his mind clear of how or why she would declare such things to him. He had known Zevran for a while now. Flirting with anything that moved, and why she would choose him bewildered him. There had to be something about him, something he kept hidden away for no one to see.
"Duis sentire existimantur et sic facies eam," Zevran repeated as he remembered the way she felt. How she clung to him as he entered her. The moan he stole as she took him in.
"You make it feel the way it's supposed to be" Fenris replied, a blush appearing on his cheeks. "Are you done… this… this isn't right," he added, his tone growing more and more annoyed.
"Just one more, please" Zevran pleaded. "Just this last one and I will ask no more…."
"Credo sum ego vos pulchrum," he barely whispered already in disbelief
"I believe I am beautiful with you."